#trashtag

Hashtags. A clever and easy way to see how many people are talking about a particular subject. Works brilliantly well on twitter, about as useful as a cock-flavoured lollipop on facebook. They don't work there! There is no point in putting hashtags on your statuses or photos, it will have the same result as attempting to chop down a tree with your penis. Until recently that is. As it turns out, I am indeed capable of felling trees using just my member...

Obviously that is a lie. I actually meant that old facey-b has now introduced a hashtag function in a not so veiled attempt to rip off twitter. As much as I don't give a flying fuck about how you just ate an apple or which disgustingly wealthy black man Kim Kardashian is currently getting boned by, hashtags were the only thing twitter had going for it. Now that has been cruelly ripped away from them like candy from an obese baby. 

However, just because there is now a point to it doesn't mean it needs to be done! One or two are acceptable at a push but #hashtagging #every #word makes you look like a dick. Use sensible ones as well, names and places etc. are fine, hashtags such as #nomnom and #imthebestttt are not.

I used to think that emoticons were almost as bad as hashtags, if not worse. Now I must admit that I use these to a massive extent. Anyone that talks to me on the internet will attest that I use the :P face ALL THE TIME. In fact, I probably use some sort of emiticon in almost every message. My excuse for this is that I am a massively sarcastic bastard and need a way to show that I am joking, not that I am being a huge nob. Although, most of you probably think there isn't much of a difference!

Another previously hated now very much used internet phenomenon is 'LOL'. As you all know, this stands for laugh out loud and is commonly used as a response to a joke or to show you are not being serious. Now, how often do you actually laugh out loud at something on the internet? Very rarely. Exactly. Most of the time you make a strange snorting noise. As such I propose a new acronym. Something along the lines of MSN (makes snort noise) or WHS (weird hnn sound). 

Despite my use of LOL, I find extensions and exaggerations ridiculous. Have you ever ROFLed or LMAOed? No, no you haven't. If you ended up rolling on the floor laughing from anything on the internet (with the exception of this blog) then you probably aught to get checked out by a doctor. If you manage to laugh your entire arse off then I would definitely recommend it. Until I see either of these scenarios happening I will continue to brand them as stupid and brainless like the people that use them. And if I do see them? Well, I'll be more than happy to gun you all down in my ROFLcopter.