On 21st May 2013, the day when the #bloodycyclists hashtag went viral on twitter, I was cut up by a bus, almost hit by a car and nearly cycled over a pedestrian. I can guess your reaction was somewhere along the lines of:
"What treacherous road were you on Will? Surely it must have been a one-off. What would we read in the evenings if you got hurt?"
Well, thanks for your concern but this is very much an everyday occurrence when traversing the curry mile. It seems very few people in this area of Manchester know how to drive very well. Let me give you a little lesson on how to drive:
1) Indicate - This allows other road users to know where the fuck you are going so I don't almost T-bone your stupid, white BMW.
2) Park properly - The bike lane is for bikes, it is NOT somewhere you can leave your car for ten minutes meaning I get sandwiched between your stupid, white BMW and a bus.
3) Don't get a stupid, white BMW - especially one with a personalised number plate, you just look like a knob.
A little consideration goes a long way. If I didn't feel like these people were actively trying to kill me on my route to uni then I might care a little more when I knock their wing-mirror off. If you know the curry mile then you will know the people I mean and the ethnic background they are from. I'm not saying it is all drivers and I'm not saying that all drivers from this background are shit either, but there does seem to be a correlation of sorts.
Maybe it is something in the water as the pedestrians aren't any better. The number of times someone has stepped out in front of me and forced me to slam on the brakes is phenomenal. However, it's the ones that walk ON the cycle paths that do my nut in. In fact, I would go as far as to buy all of these morons a headband to keep their sweaty bollocks out of their eyes. Testicles blocking their vision is the only reason I can think of that they might walk in the cycle path when there is a perfectly serviceable pavement 3 yards away.
From a driver's point of view though, I can see why they think cyclists are twats. Even I think most of them are. There are two types of cyclists who are particularly despised. Firstly, those who have the fancy bike and all the lycra and use it to cycle 10 minutes round the corner. Yeah, you know who you are. You, who spent two grand on a bike and ride it to the shops and back. The joke is on you though, we can all see how small your cock is. Now go and shave your legs again.
Secondly there are the ones that have no regard for the highway code at all. I've seen some morons totally jump a red light across a busy road. Personally I don't understand it. Hopefully though it will lead to some form of Darwinism, clearly if you think its a good idea to cross a road through traffic then you deserve to have your brain removed by a bus.
