Hymns and Arias? Fuck off!

Following the defeat of England in the 6 Nations last weekend a lot of plastic Welshmen slithered out of the woodwork. This annoyed me. This annoyed me on two levels. Firstly it annoyed me because they were pretending to be something they aren't at any other point in the year. Secondly they were pretending to be welsh. I have nothing against real welsh people, in fact some of my friends are welsh (or at least pretend to be), but you can’t chop and change. Wales had all the right in the world to gloat, they literally slapped England in the face with a woolly penis. I guarantee you however, that had England won, those same people would have bummed St. George faster than you could say ‘God save the Queen’. I bet you were expecting me to be all bitter but even I can appreciate a metaphorical arse pounding. I actually asked a few of these folk why they were supporting Wales and I got the expected bullshit about how their dad had gone there on holiday or their great granny once bought them a stick of rock with the world Cymru through it. No! Just no! These are not legitimate answers. You are welsh if you have welsh blood. Simple as that. It’s fine if you want to support another nation AS LONG AS you support them in everything and don’t think you’re better than other people. We all know you aren't  To briefly summarise then; Wales are good at rugby but wank at football. If you support them at one sport you should support them in the others too, even if Wales playing footy is akin to ten nerds running around after the only girl to show a bit of cleavage...then queuing up to gently cup Gareth Bale’s testicles.

            Thinking about it, this is a fairly prominent problem in modern society (people pretending to be something else, not holding Bale’s balls). Everybody is trying to be something. Even I for example, a fairly nerdy, slightly awkward sort of person, am trying to be funny by writing this shit. I think this all comes to a head in ‘hipsters’. Now, my understanding of a ‘hipster’ is someone who doesn't like things because they are popular. This sounds like bollocks to me. Normally things are popular because they are good, like computers and bacon. Using a typewriter does not make you look cool, it makes you look like a twat. Being ‘hipster’ these days is so popular that it has ceased to be ‘hipster’ and is now mainstream. It’s at this point that I like to imagine their tiny little brains exploding as the paradox starts to sink in. I honestly don’t get it, what is wrong with just being you? Everyone is so caught up with trying to be something they aren't that individuality and originality have flown straight out of the window. Lots of people these days are just sheep, which suits our wannabe Welshmen just fine (and there was you thinking I wasn't going to make a sheep-shagging joke).

P.S. I am going to blatantly and unashamedly ask you all to tell your friends and family and anyone else you see about my blog if you like reading it. It is time to spread the anger people!